after spring festival

March 9, 2021

how to talk to myself? and then find out what is inside my heart and what I really want. to find out what I can do to make me satisfied with myself and with my life.
After a long time of not writting blog, I have no idea about what to write.
Now, it’s morning. What I am supposed to do is to write my graduation paper. However, I delayed it to some time later. I don’t want to do it now.
I feel happy and peace. The life is school is so wonderful. nothing to distract my attention. I can enhance myself or just waste time. Now I have the choice. I do not have much things I that I have to do.
Thank god, I realize that now is the perfect time to enjoy.
Even though the future is uncertain, it is nothing about now. Only when it comes, take action and time to deal with it.
As for programming, the only thing related is the ns3 simulation for BLE indoor positioning. Maybe I need to read and recite some algorithm for the preparation of future work.
learn to think “do not react” when things happens.

first, I want to make progress, on graduation paper writing and job finding.
About graduation paper writing, what I can do is just sit down and type words. The main interference is come from inside. Or maybe the low progress is just beacause that I do not get used to gdp writting. I can spend time on it to overcome fears of facing it.
As for job finding, I escape a lot of times and failed to face it directly. I put few effor on it because I think I have no ability to find a good job. So it is that fear prevent me from working hard to get a better result. What I need to do is spend time on it, and get used to it.

have bad opinion on others. want to criticize others. -> not a thing. It will gone with wind.

what desire of mine is not satisfied?
communication? no one to communicate -> not a problem. I can find if I want
fear of not being accepted of smp -> ~~a little~~ a bunch
anger of not making much progress in gdp -> spend time on it!
not satisfied with surrounding people. they are annoy. -> well, not actually. At most of the time, the surronding people is kind and enviroment is peace and relaxing.
disappointment of knowing that she finded cp. -> Does this matter? I think this is not a thing.
uncertainty of things that I need to do. -> just do. when in progress, more will reveal. keep positive or keep peaceful mind.
lack of money -> not now, it is something after graduation.